Technology as a way of life

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser...




Everyday life





1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would ever eat?

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not one in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and noone cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

7. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

8. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

9. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

10. What do you call male ballerinas?

11. Can blind people see their dreams?

12. Why ARE Trix only for kids?

13. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

14. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

17. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a "wet paint" sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

18. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


19. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

20. Why do the alphabet song and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

21. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

22. Why do they call it an 'asteroid' when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a 'hemorrhoid' when it's inside your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


Oxymorons!

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?


3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

2 comments:

Plus Size Lingerie said...

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RaduB. said...

no spamming please, second time results in ip blocking

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